Tethras

Tethras (formerly Emperor Tethras) is of indeterminate age and species. Born roughly 6000 -8000 years ago, in an as yet unknown country. Rumor has it he also has cum gutters and likes to play games with bear traps on his head.

The History and Physical Form of Tethras
Early in the times of their immortality, Tethras was loved for one day by an indeterminate being. Their love waned, and scorned so, Tethras threw them into a nearby volcano.

In modern times, Tethras speaks with a Scottish twang, but it is unclear if this is their native accent or merely adopted. He is "100% legally admissible as a doctor" per his own assertion. He also admits to having a "micro-penis" on the few occasions he does not refer to it being removed by canoe accident. It is unclear if this descriptor is in relation to after accident or if it was removed completely.

Tethras no long has a physical form, having transcended to a stage of data and energy. As such, Tethras definitely doesn't eat human veal. Due to an assassination attempt by two bakers at some point in the 21st century, it has been proven that Tethras is indeed immune to the poison Cyanide. When Tethras assumes human form, he is known to occasionally go by the name "Barold".

Tethras technically cannot die from mortal means, but if he were to die, he would first shift into a pastel coloration and then dissolve into glitter.

During their travels through time and space, Tethras inadvertently caused the assassination of JFK and Archduke Franz Ferdinand.

At some point, Tethras became proficient in sword play, preferring a katana.

Tethras has laser magic, and it is known to be too strong.

The Tethras Empire
The Tethras Empire was founded in Stardew Valley. It was originally an annex of the farm founded by Shitleyabutton, rapidly becoming a commune.

On the first day, Shitley and Tethras introduced themselves to the townspeople by going to the bar and singing karaoke. Tethras blessed the townspeople with a rendition of Sweet Caroline, in abyssal.

The Incident
During the early days of the Empire, Tethras "got stuck" on the hill next to a children's playground. Armed only with a fishing rod, they bravely stood vigil, ensuring no creeps hung around the innocent kids. A logistical error meant the emperor could no longer be fed by their serf, Shitley, and they eventually succumbed to exhaustion. Due to a misunderstanding (a lone male, passed out near a children's playground), Tethras was briefly run out of town.

Signs of things to come
A cold war of signs took place on the farm between Tethras and new-to-town Bekabunny. Tethras attempted to claim further land in the name of the great empire by staking their claim with scythe signs. These were routinely removed and placed back within the established borders, by Bekabunny who had her own signs showing Jamborite.

Low hanging fruit
Suck melons, the United States of America, Amish people, and Deaf people. 'nuff said.

Production
Tethras produces mayonnaise at an alarming rate although they complain often of being 'parched'

Shrek
Canonically, Tethras has killed Shrek at the request of his wife due to her husband's descent into a weeaboo episode.

Migraines
According to Shirley, what medical professionals describe as "migraines" are really just the after-effects of the Tethras Brain Mold.

Surveillance on the being that is Tethras can be carried out here: https://www.twitch.tv/tethras further research is required

To see the conflict happening on the farm, brave souls can venture to https://www.twitch.tv/shirleyabutton on Tuesdays.